Archives for the month of: May, 2013

I came across this post today from a very cool writer, teacher and mother of two daughters, Rachel Macy Stafford. She writes a blog called Hands Free Mama, which illuminates the freedom and beauty that arise from unwiring oneself, and focusing completely on parenting, living and just being. She wrote a post this month, What Our Children Want Us to See, in which she offers this poem.

What I Want You to See (From the Voice of a Child)
by Rachel Macy Stafford

See the way my tongue sticks out when I’m making a beautiful creation for you.
See all the things I am doing right, not all the things I’m doing wrong.

See the way the way my eyes scan the auditorium until I find you.
See how the sight of your face makes me sigh with relief.

See the way my face changes when you take time to explain things to me.
See what a little patience and compassion can do for my scowl.

See the way I look at you when you read a book to me.
See that it doesn’t take much to make me feel loved and secure.

See that I gave it my all even though I didn’t quite succeed.
See that I’d do anything to make you proud.

See that my pants are too short because I am growing, not because I am an inconvenience.
See that I want to grow up to be just like you.

See that I’m calm and quiet when I am sleeping.
See that I’m carefree and joyful when I am running.

See that I’m gonna be something great if you can just look beyond the flaws.
See how a few words of affirmation make my shoulders rise.

See that my eyes tear up a little when we say goodbye.
See that my favorite pastime is spending time with you.

See that you’re the light of my life.
See that I desperately want to be the light of yours.

See me for what I am: a child who has many needs, but also a heart full of love.

See that beneath the dirt-stained pants and pouty lip, I am your everyday miracle. 
Your everyday miracle. 

And if you look a little deeper and gaze a little longer,
You’ll see all that am.



Fooa Bamoni Wedding Dance

If you knew you had only one hour left to live, and you had to make a choice between being happy or sad for the duration of those 60 minutes, which would you choose?

I think most people, if it really were a choice, would choose to be happy. I know I would.

That’s what this picture made me think about. Here, my uncle, Suresh Fooa, is dancing with my sister-in-law, Bamoni on November 13, 2010. Bamoni passed away on September 24, 2012.

That’s less than 24 months.
Or to be precise, 97 weeks and 2 days.
Or 681 days total.

What I like about this photo is that in typical Suresh Fooa form, my uncle is very much his jolly, carefree self, and as a result, I think Bamoni too felt free to experience sheer joy in what would have otherwise been a very controlled moment.

You see, the event at which they’re dancing is my wedding. Because Bamoni organized and hosted the entire event, and due to the natural customs, both cultural and familial, Bamoni was required to be gracious, composed, and measured at all times.

In this moment, though, she was finally able to exude something else: Silliness, and unbounded joy.

While there may be circumstances or times in our lives that may seem to call for something other than unbounded happiness or silly joy, could it be that even then, we’re still free to choose it?

This photo is a reminder to me: In the moments when we are sad, depressed, hard on ourselves or in a martyr mindset, we should remember that we have a choice.

And we may only get to exercise that choice for another 681 days.